A Spring of Joy

Yesterday I stood in the middle of the Hallmark store and read every single Valentine’s Day card for husbands, and I bawled like a baby. I wanted to buy almost all of them and take them to my B and say, “This still doesn’t capture it.”

How do I express it? How do I even begin? Where do I even begin?

This is a man who is waking up early to change diapers, make breakfasts, pack lunches, get kids out the door to their awaiting days and he HATES mornings.

This is a man who then goes to work all day and comes home and changes diapers, gets supper on the table, jammies kids, rocks our sweet baby, and tucks them all in bed.

This is a man who wakes up at 3:00 a.m. to the screams of a baby girl terrified of the wind and rocks her and brings her to sleep with him on a very uncomfortable couch because he can’t be in bed with me.

This is a man who internalizes it all and handles my emotional chaos with ruthless trust that we WILL get through this. That God is faithful no matter what.

This is a man who has given up ministry in order to minister to his family.

This is a man who stood with me in a parking lot and held my limp body while I sobbed when I found out I had breast cancer, and then when I found out it hadn’t spread to any organs, and then when I found out my thyroid cancer had recurred. He didn’t care what kind of scene I was making. He was just there.

This is a man who watched me lose my hair and my eyebrows and my eyelashes and my toned body and looks deep into my eyes and tells me how beautiful he thinks I am, and he means it.

This is a man who refuses to fear the future because he’s too busy living life today with us.

This is a man whose humor makes me laugh every single day.

This is a man who will sit long into the night with me and listen to me try to sort out the emotions and questions and fears and struggles I am going through, and he doesn’t try to fix me. He just promises to walk through it all with me.

This is a man who can make me angry because he’s not like me and I don’t understand him, and then turn around two seconds later and forgive me and make me realize how wonderful it is that he’s not like me and I’ll never completely understand him.

This is a man who deserves every Valentine’s Day card ever made, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

So where do I begin?

Well, this I do know. It doesn’t begin with Valentine’s Day. It begins with every day and saying three words he needs to hear.

You amaze me.

I respect you.

You are wonderful.

I am grateful.

You are valued.

I am humbled.

You are mine.

We fit perfectly.

I love you.