A Spring of Joy

Hold her. Just hold her when she needs it.

Don’t worry about the dust or the clothes piling up or the untidy state of your home.

Just love her. You’re holding a piece of forever in your arms.

Yesterday I began the barrage of tests, scans, ultrasounds, injections, questions and waiting. And I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, so I just did both.

After a lengthy drive filled with me singing at the top of my lungs to songs on my iPod, I arrived at the hospital (not the one I normally go to) for my appointment. I was having an ultrasound of my neck in order for them to see if they could locate any remaining thyroid tissue from my thyroidectomy 10 years ago. They took me back quickly into the dungeon radiology, and it all went downhill from there.

I love heroes. Superheroes. My brother and I grew up on them. Every Saturday morning we’d head down to the family room and curl up in front of Super Friends while Mom and Daddy enjoyed sleeping in. We’d get home from school and watch old Batman reruns on channel 5. Daddy (ever the artist!) would draw them for us, Mom would make capes and masks out of felt, and we’d play heroes every time we could. We played with our friends, most often with Sherry, my one-day-to-be sister-in-law. (Who knew those days climbing all over the jungle gym as Batman, Robin and Batgirl, we’d one day all be related?)

Romans 12:1 says, “Offer your bodies as living sacrifices… this is your spiritual act of worship.” God reminds me again and again that worship isn’t just what happens on Sundays at church, or at small group meetings, or at intentional times of worship with friends. Worship isn’t just singing when I need something from Him to fill that emotional need in my heart and mind. Worship is a sacrifice. Worship is a lifestyle. Worship is offering my whole body to Him.

(BEWARE: Tedious health update ahead)

There’s no pretty way to write this post, so I’m just going to lay out the facts of where we are now with everything with me… prepare to be bored, or just skip this post if you like. But if you skip it, please still pray for us. There’s lots coming up for us. Lots I wasn’t expecting, and I am discouraged.

What do you think when you mention the name of God? How does your mind respond? What emotions rise up in your heart? I’ve written before (several times) about how healing it is to sing the names of God. How do you respond to Who God is?

This Sunday at church in Nashville (have I mentioned how a-MA-zing it was?) we sang Revelation Song, a song I’ve heard before and hummed to around the house. But Sunday was the first time I’ve ever really thought about what I was singing. And I was blown away by the simplicity yet depth of the lyrics.

In no particular order…

1. Believe it or not the traveling. We love being together as a family and our kids really do travel so well. Snacking on cheese nips and raisins, singing harmony at the top of our lungs, curling up for car naps, playing I Spy, watching The Muppet Show on DVD and hearing our boys laugh out loud. I love Bear’s dimples and the sparkle in his eye every time he hears the intro to “Real Gone” from Cars. I love my Buddy’s inquisitive nature and excitement to discover new things and new places. And I love little Bella singing at the top of her lungs a song to which only she knows the words (and the melody).

We’ve been out of town visiting friends from college. Thus the lack of writing recently.

In the meantime, take a minute and read what Ann wrote today about Knowing. It is breathtaking.

May we be still and know Him today!

Last night I stayed up to watch the rerun of Oprah, a show I never watch. But it was all about breast cancer… Christina Applegate, her oncologist, Susan G. Komen’s sister, and numerous breast cancer survivors were on the show. It brought back a lot of hurt and fear and memories, and brought up a lot of what if’s? about the future. I sat on the couch crying and thinking, “I couldn’t do this again. Please, God, don’t let it come back.” It left me in a very desperate mood.