Sticky Notes

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5

The sticky notes are all different colors–royal blue, goldenrod, bright orange–but they all say the same thing.

I love you, Mom, so so so so so so much.

They appear on my pillow, my mirror, my computer, and sometimes he just walks right up to me and sticks one on my shirt.

My Bear.

His gentle and peaceful ways touch my soul, and especially when my life and heart feel so chaotic these days, his tenderness is a much needed balm. He has no idea how he reaches me, and every time I see those dimples, my heart just about explodes.  Read more... (549 words, 1 image, estimated 2:12 mins reading time)

The Glory of it All

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5

“One of the most important lessons I have learned over the past few years is how important it is to have time and space for being with what’s real in my life — to celebrate the joys, grieve the losses, shed my tears, sit with the questions, feel my anger, attend to my loneliness.”

Ruth Haley Barton, Sacred Rhythms

There is so much I want to say, so many joys to express, so much grief to share, so many tears to weep, so many questions to ask, and occasionally there is anger in it all, and often there is this burning loneliness knowing I am the only one who fully bears and understands all I walk through. I am learning to accept it all, to sit with it all, to be real with it all…  Read more... (969 words, estimated 3:53 mins reading time)

And so it begins…

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3

Mommy? You wear jeans a lot, don’t you?

I do, honey bunches of redheadedness, Why?

Well. Perhaps you should consider wearing more skirts and different pants, you know, so you look nicer.

She’s five, y’all. What will she say when she’s fifteen?

Simple Gifts

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7

This morning as I sat on the front porch waving to Brian and the kids as they pulled away from our home, my eyes filled. They opened the back window of the truck and yelled, “I love you! Bye!” over and over, and I watched them until they were out of sight. I looked around from my vantage point at the frosted railroad ties and the old train station. Our neighbor, Frank’s, cats frolicked in the road, and contentment washed over me.

I don’t cry much anymore when they leave, but this morning, it hit me. We have so much. So very much.  Read more... (902 words, estimated 3:36 mins reading time)

Last night…

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3

When I was undergoing chemotherapy, Brian wrote on my blog, “Recently I watched Angie break down in tears when a friend suggested they go to a concert after she’s recovered… the thought of actually having a life again after all of this was overwhelming.”

That was four years ago.

Last night…

I went to a concert.