Category Archives: The Library

Put your feet up, grab a cup of coffee (or hot chocolate if you’d rather) and enjoy stories written by Asher, created by Mommy to entertain the kids, and Angie’s journals of life in our home.

These Gifts.

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6

Last night, my Bear came downstairs unable to sleep but moving drowsily. He curled his little body on the couch next to me and leaned into me, half-standing, half-laying while I wrapped my arm around him. I don’t know how long he was there with his head in my lap, but I remember thinking, “I wonder which of us will move first.” Because neither of us wanted to. We just needed to be sure of each other.

“I love you, Bear.” I whispered, stroking his hair.

He murmured back, “I love you, too… so much.”  Read more... (675 words, 3 images, estimated 2:42 mins reading time)

The Final Yes

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6

The weeks leading up to my surgery and following have been a drain on our family… on Brian’s and my marriage, on the children, on my parents. It is exhausting to be constantly fighting for survival–survival of us, of our hearts. Sometimes it seems survival of our very faith, even though I know that He Who began a good work will complete it…

My sweet Bear has been struggling. Y’all, can I just interject how those dimples melt my heart? There is a sweetness to him that is achingly beautiful. He doesn’t talk much about things, but he feels deeply and fears greatly. Those fears turn physical for him, and almost every night we have found him coming to us or running to the bathroom with nausea and feeling as if he might throw up.  Read more... (726 words, estimated 2:54 mins reading time)

Of Yesterdays and Todays and a God Who Will Not Change

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7

“We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”
(~C. S. Lewis)

The sobs came uncontrolled last night as I pounded the couch with my fist. “I hate it.” I cried to Brian. “I hate cancer. HATE IT. I hate what it’s done to me, to us, to our children.”

We had just decided to pull our kids from Vacation Bible School because there is sickness rampant throughout the group, and I can’t risk them getting sick and getting me sick. We were doing what’s best, but it didn’t feel best. It felt awful, and I couldn’t bear the thought of my children’s faces when we told them. The disappointment. The tears.  Read more... (662 words, estimated 2:39 mins reading time)

Just A Few Little Details

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10

Tomorrow looms.

My surgery is at 10:00. We will go into the hospital at 9:00. I will be in the hospital 3-5 days.

I am scared. Questions constantly reel through my mind. I fear for my children, for Brian. I fear that they’ll find the cancer much worse than they think it is. It is all so big and scary. Dear Bear prayed tonight for me, “Dear Father, thank you for my Mommy. Please don’t let her die.” Y’all this is the fear that hovers over us… and my heart breaks for my dear little ones.  Read more... (697 words, 3 images, estimated 2:47 mins reading time)

His Glory. Our Final Good.

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10

A few weeks ago my glasses broke. Split right down the middle, so I duct taped them back together because I must have them to drive. (Yes, I duct taped my glasses. Yes, Brian made fun of me. Yes, it was hilarious.)

I bought new ones.

I love my new glasses.

I can’t find my new glasses.

I have searched up and down and all around.

You know what else I can’t find?

The car keys.

We’ve been using the spare van key for 2 days now.  Read more... (782 words, estimated 3:08 mins reading time)