A Spring of Joy

Yes, it’s Fair time again. Heapin’ doses of denim, boots, big hair, smelly animals, greasy food, sugar and unsafe rides. Oh my, that sounds so delightful, doesn’t it? So, why is it we love the Fair so much?

As I rocked Audrey that night, she made it abundantly clear what the answer is. She curled on my lap and talked non-stop. I’ll let her words tell you all about it.

“Went to da Faay-er! Audee wide howa-seees (the carousel)! Mommy hold ME! I wide in cawr-a wiff bow-eyes (boys)!

We eat fway-nch fwies ay-nd FWUNNEL CAY-AKE! Pet baya-by duckies!

Our week in Ocean City was delightful in almost every way. Sure, we had our moments (doesn’t every family?), but those are already long-forgotten. The wonderfulness overpowers.

The highlights? Two nights on the boardwalk with our little ones. The boys all rode the ferris wheel together, and Audrey reveled in the “horsies”. Asher learned to boogie-board, and declared that it was, “The best day of his life ever!” (Guess it topped fishing with Tiff on the day of my surgery.) Micah tried his hand at boogie-boarding as well. Considering he was terrified of the water, he made a valiant effort. Instead, Micah became “Awesome”, the super-hero, punching waves and living, as always, in his beautiful world of make-believe.

I stood with Emily, her mother, and her bridesmaids moments before the prelude began, and I prayed with them, asking that God be in this place, that every step of the journey they were about to begin would be filled with grace, mercy and love.

I sang with Brian during the prelude and my voice shook with emotion more often than it was steady as we sang of praise to the Risen One and the Beautiful One. And as breathtaking as Emily was, there is still nothing on earth as beautiful as Him.

Finally, time to sit and write about the past two weeks, which have been crazy (pronounce that CUH-RAAAY-ZEEEEE) with a high pitched squeal and you’ll hear what’s been going through my head for a while. Kind of sad, isn’t it. Not much going on in there, huh?

We’ve had Brian’s parents and sister’s family visiting, Vacation Bible School this week, and Drew & Em’s wedding coming up in a couple days. Good times were had by all, and in the midst of trying to get accurate measurements for tuxes for two growing boys, driving them to and from VBS every day, visiting with the fam, and trying to detox sweet Audrey who walks around the house looking for Edison, I am tired. But everywhere I turn I think, I should write about this. (Does this mean I am becoming blog-obsessed?)

Saturday found us spending the afternoon surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation. It was my first time back in the TRUCK off-roading, and it was wonderful.

These pictures of my sister-in-law, brother-in-law and their absolutely adorable son (isn’t he the cutest?!) participating in the Race For The Cure reduced me to a sobbing mess.

Then she had to go and write this on her blog. Now I’m an even bigger mess. Isn’t it wonderful? Thank you… thank you… thank you! I am so blessed. How I do look forward to shouting “one year!”

This little stinker turned 2 this week.

Complete with a purse cake and lots of presents, our baby passed another milestone. You can check out the par-tay pictures.

I spent the day before crying. The day of celebrating. Now I’m back to crying again. It’s not that I don’t want her to grow up, because I know that is how life is. It’s the mourning of missing 9 months of her growing and changing and vibrancy while I was fighting cancer. How can she be two already? Because it truly feels like she was just one a day ago. I have struggled through not being there for her. Missing her passages. Not being able to pick her up when she cries. Watching her tag along with her brothers and babysitters. Out the door. Off to new places and new things. Things I couldn’t participate in. I have had to let go of a lot with her, holding her with open hands.

Heard around our home:
While wrapped in Daddy’s arms, a soft sigh is followed by a six-year-old voice, “Daddy, I hope I never get too old for snuggling.”

Seen around our home:
The rosy glow of a sunrise filling our loft with dim light. I tiptoe out of my room hoping I won’t wake little ones only to find a blond head burrowed beneath blankets. “Mom, I’m watching the sun come up over the mountains.” Then a wonderful half hour of watching day arrive with my Bear.

Felt around our home:
Puddles. Tears and my melting heart everywhere.