Of Yesterdays and Todays and a God Who Will Not Change

“We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”
(~C. S. Lewis)

The sobs came uncontrolled last night as I pounded the couch with my fist. “I hate it.” I cried to Brian. “I hate cancer. HATE IT. I hate what it’s done to me, to us, to our children.”

We had just decided to pull our kids from Vacation Bible School because there is sickness rampant throughout the group, and I can’t risk them getting sick and getting me sick. We were doing what’s best, but it didn’t feel best. It felt awful, and I couldn’t bear the thought of my children’s faces when we told them. The disappointment. The tears.

Home Again

It has been a whirlwind of days even though the days have felt like forever.

I came home on Sunday in the early afternoon, so today is my second full day at home. It is going well, and I am recovering. Pain is lessening. Incisions are healing. Appetite is slowly returning.

The days are long and lonely. The kids are gone, so the house is quiet. This is so I will recoup faster, but sometimes I wonder if the chatter and noise of my dear ones won’t help me heal more.

Day 6: Chicken Broth and Ginger Ale

Yesterday was a disappointing day. I woke up nauseated, and it took them a while to get that under control, which meant we went back to square one: ice chips every 8 hours.

I’m swollen and sore and tired, but today the nausea is much better, and I am progressing to clear liquids. My breakfast today consisted of chicken broth and ginger ale. Breakfast of champions, y’all, breakfast of champions.

Last night, my friend, Maretta, stayed the night with me while Bri had a guys night with some buddies. Good for him. Good for me. Although having Maretta here means a lot of laughing which is pretty painful on an abdominal incision. Well worth the pain, though. I’m so glad she was here.

Day 4: Follow the White Rabbit

Angie asked me to post a quick update to let you all know where we are today. Her’s would have been a captivating story, thrilling and entertaining you with the highlights of our week in the hospital and leaving you both laughing and crying at the end…

But you get me.

By all accounts surgery went very well on Monday, the Doc assured me that she “held still and didn’t try to help or anything.” We were expecting to get pathology results sometime after Wednesday afternoon, but in one of the many wonderful perks of a ‘small-town’ hospital they actually showed up Tuesday afternoon. Dr. B. brought the pathology summary to our room and dropped it in Angie’s lap, with the relevant bits highlighted.

Surgery Update

Angie should return to writing duty later this week when the narcotics have worn off, but as I wanted to make sure I passed along some of the news.

Today went really well. I’ll leave most of the story telling to her, but if you know our history with IVs I’ll give you this- the nurse from IV therapy got her port hooked up in one stick. No drama, no second attempts, nobody cried. Yea!