A Spring of Joy

Tuesday was my bone scan. Today was my doctor appointment. Those two days felt interminable.

The bone scan is clear. We are once again praising God for His mercy to us. Please continue to pray for complete healing for me. I also found out about several small ways the chemo has negatively impacted my body. Lots of small concerns make it seem big, and I am feeling overwhelmed by the road ahead.

I can’t thank ya’ll enough for your prayers and encouragement. I can’t tell ya’ll how much your rejoicing with me means. Thank you for your love.

Today at lunch I was reading the story of Noah to my children. We talked about how the first thing Noah did after he exited the ark was to build an altar of thanksgiving to God for His goodness. The boys began listing all the things that God had given us as we talked about how good He is. “Our house, my brother, my sister, our toys, our lunch, the trees…” all bubbled up and out as the they tried to outdo each other with rejoicing in God’s blessings.

This morning dawned drizzly and dreary and seemed to match my mood. Bri and I had to be over the mountain at the hospital by 8:00 and y’all know what a morning person he is, so you can imagine how thrilled he was when the alarm woke us this morning. I have been suffering from a cold and spent the night coughing rather than sleeping, so I curled up in our heated seats and listened to the droning of NPR for an hour while we drove through fog so thick you could only see 2 feet in front of you. Although I am prone to exaggeration, that is not one. I actually heard them say it on the radio.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about where I am with treatment. What’s happening in my life? How am I feeling? So consider this my attempt to answer your questions… my deep-dark secrets will be revealed, all the things you ever wanted to know about me, those frequently asked question about who I am. My dorky life in middle and high school. My 80’s hair. The WAHM club. Well, no, not really. But if you have a question (about my health update, because I refuse to touch the 80’s) that I don’t answer, feel free to leave a comment and ask me.

I had an “Oh my stars! I had cancer!” moment today, and there is a heaviness that lingers. It’s hard to even explain all the things that flit through my mind during these times. The memories of the fears wash over me, the joy of God’s strength in this trial, the overwhelming encouragement of our friends and family, the pain of change, the peace of trust.

I’m afraid there was a terrible accident the other day at the hospital. While Angie was receiving her daily dose of radiation something unexpected happened…

I know, I know. An update on how radiation is going is long overdue. I think the dullness of the routine has kept me from even knowing what to write. There’s not a whole lot to share about going to the cancer center every day, lying on a table and letting them burn me from the inside out. I know all the staff by name, and we joke about weird things like Bob Ross, the afro-headed artist on PBS, with his “happy little green and happy little trees.” The techs all love my fun socks that I wear, and I have many of you to thank for that. I received so many pairs of socks as gifts, and I love them all!

Yesterday was long and hard, physically and emotionally. I am weary today, but I am enjoying an afternoon snuggled in my delicious new RED bed linens. How I love red!

I wanted to give y’all an update on my status and progress. I went in yesterday morning for my radiation appointment. It consisted of 2 hours in freezing cold rooms undergoing x-rays, CT-scans, and markings for my radiation treatments. The markings process is tedious, because I couldn’t move for the entire length of time they were measuring and drawing all over me. Try not moving when the room temperature is 0 degrees and you’re biting your lips so hard they’re bleeding because you’re trying not to shiver or let your teeth chatter. Okay, so I exaggerate. A bit.

Honestly, I’m not a big Valentine’s Day person. It’s a nice enough day for the masses who are convinced by the card companies and the chocolate-heart manufacturers and the florists who raise their prices exorbitantly. Trust me, I’m an incurable romantic at heart, but I’d much rather Brian surprise me with a dozen roses on a day when it’s not expected of him. Give me dinner out on a night when I don’t have to wait 2 hours for a table. And also trust me when I say that especially after the last 6 months, I don’t need Valentine’s Day to show me how much Brian loves me.

So I’ve been getting all kinds of questions about when I’ll be done with chemo and treatment and what the future looks like, and I decided I should probably write an entry with an update for all of you. I hate writing these because I don’t want to bore you to death, so that being said, don your sleeping caps, grap a cup of nighttime tea, big long stretch, nice yawn, and here we go…