Is It Possible?
Is it possible?
Last night as I came to bed I gazed at my Bear. Never one to sleep motionless, he had kicked himself out of his sleeping bag, off his pillow and was curled up on Sam & Alan’s carpet, breathing deep, sweet smile on his face. I laughed and called for Bri to come rearrange my little man. Then I sat and looked at him, and I asked myself when was the last time I just sat with my Bear and looked at him and wondered at him?
(Oh, trust me, I wonder at him all the time. The pages I have filled with stories about my Bear!)
But this was different. A marveling. A wondering.
Is it possible?
God entrusted this little soul to our care. That light behind his green eyes, that mind that whirls into worlds unknown to me, that smile that dimples shyly, that laugh rippling through his whole being, that body so stocky and sure, that heart bigger than any of us, that soul… an eternal being.
Is it possible?
How do I care for this? To not dim the light in his eyes, to join him in worlds unknown, to encourage his independence, to laugh with him, to feed and clothe and strengthen his body, to fill that heart with more love, to mold that soul and romance him to Jesus.
Is it possible?
I though about that day five years ago when I held a bundle of 7 lb. 12 oz. in my arms and gazed in wonder. Five years felt like an eternity away. How long has it been since I just sat and gazed at my Bear? I wondered last night how much I have missed along the way too absorbed in myself and my things to do.
Is it possible?
This little man will start kindergarten this year. He’ll take gymnastics. He’ll run and laugh and grow and learn. And time will not stop as much as I might want it to.
Is it possible?
When he woke up this morning I was staring at him again. His eyes met mine and my heart melted at that dimpled grin. “Hey.” I said, “It’s a Birthday Bear!” And his grin widened, his arms stretched out to me, and I held him. “Happy Birthday.” I whispered into his hair. And I wondered.
Is it possible?
Is is possible that I could love this little guy any more deeply?
I imagine so… but I can’t imagine how.
Happy Birthday, Bear!
Grandma and Grandpa said:
Give him a hug for Grandma and Grandpa today! He is wonderful!
Heather said:
I love this, Angie! God has given Bear a very special Mommy!
Rochelle said:
Where does the time go?? Sometimes you love them so much it hurts! happy Birthday Micah!
Judie Young said:
Dear Angie,
You have a special little boy and a very handsome one. Happy Birthday little one. You are a gift from God to your Mom.
In His love,
Judie
Mom and Dad said:
Wow Ang! What a great kid! Hope that his day was very special. We love him so much!!
Beth Zarlenga said:
We love you sweet Micah and miss you already! Love, Uncle Dale, Aunt Bethy, and Emma Grace
Kristen@nosmallthing said:
Aw! Happy Birthday to your little Bear! What a sweet post. Ironically, before I read this, I went into MY little five year old’s bedroom…he was having trouble sleeping. So I laid down with him, and he was asleep in about 3 minutes. And I just stayed there, and thought about the wonder of him…and I wondered when it was that I last did that.
I think I understand exactly what you mean when you wonder “How do I care for this? To not dim the light in his eyes, to join him in worlds unknown, to encourage his independence, to laugh with him, to feed and clothe and strengthen his body, to fill that heart with more love, to mold that soul and romance him to Jesus.” Yes, I think I know indeed.
Again, happy birthday to your little boy. You are lucky to have him. And he is lucky to have a mommy like you.
Jacquie said:
Sorry it’s late, but tell my birthday buddy I hope his 5th year is the best yet!